Mr. Velcro


This is song #11 for November 11, inspired by a story I heard at the beauty shop of a woman whose husband retired and clung to her constantly. She now calls him Velcro Man. Enjoy.

MR. VELCRO
by Pam Bowen

Verse 1:
I’ve got my purse and grocery list, I’m heading for the door.
He pops his head into the room, says “Goin’ to the store?
Let me come with you Honey, I can push the cart.”
So he’s my shopping shadow, bless his hungry heart.

CHORUS:
I CALL MY HUSBAND MR. VELCRO.
HE HAS TO GO WHEREVER I GO.
HE DOESN’T LISTEN WHEN I SAY NO.
I CALL MY HUSBAND MR. VELCRO.

Verse 2:
My roots are showin’ pretty bad, I’m off to the salon
When he says, “Honey, I’m so bored—just let me come along.
I’ll sit in the corner with a gossip magazine.”
Now how can I gossip about him to Eileen?

CHORUS

Bridge:
I try to peel him off me:
He sticks tighter than a tick.
D’you think his love is normal,
Or does he need a shrink?

CHORUS

© Pamella M. Bowen

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