Stalker


Sitting in the waiting room the other day, I overheard some people about my age (Boomers), lamenting that modern kids are over-protected and never go outdoors. “What’s all this whoo-ha about bullying? That’s just a normal part of school life. We were all bullied.” Whether the speaker was right or not, it is true that social attitudes toward some “normal parts of life” have changed over the last generation or two. One such is wooing a girl.
I looked it up, and laws against “stalking” have only been on the books since the late nineties. In my youth, a girl who was being pursued by an unwanted suitor might resort to her dad or brothers to “kick the guy’s ass,” but would hardly call the cops. Flowers, notes, and little gifts on the porch or in the mail box, even T.P.-ing your yard were signs of affection, and depending on the girl’s change of heart, could lead to romance. The following song, from the boy’s point of view, regrets modern girls’ “stalker mentality.”

STALKER
by Pam Bowen ©

Verse 1:
Time was a guy like Romeo
Could hop his girlfriend’s wall
To spend the whole night kissing her
And she enjoyed it all.

Lift:
But girls these days don’t trust romance
You think we’re on the prowl
If I leave a posy on your porch
You’ll call the cops and howl:

CHORUS:
STALKER! STALKER! GET AWAY!
DON’T DARE DRIVE DOWN MY STREET
DON’T CALL ME, TEXT ME, LOOK MY WAY
YOU STALKING, PERVY CREEP!

Verse 2:
Do you think I’m Frankenstein,
Phantom of the Opera,
Or maybe Edward Cullen
Lurking in the darkness?

Lift 2:
You modern girls reject us guys
Like you would a rotten smell.
If I dare to send a love note
You’ll tear it up and yell:

CHORUS

Bridge: [or Verse 3]
How can I convince you
I’m an honest, loving Joe
Who’s only trying to woo you
Like men did long ago?

Lift 3:
I swear by Cupid’s blindfold [arrow]
That things aren’t what they seem.
You know it really hurts me
When you let out that scream:

CHORUS

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2 thoughts on “Stalker

    • pambowen October 21, 2011 / 3:56 pm

      Thanks, Rick. If you ever see any lyrics up here that you want to musicate, just let me know.
      Pam

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